I've been toying with how to write this next post for a few days now. It started as a result of something my friend asked me, someone who knows a fair number of transgender people. It was something like, "Why don't we hear about positive transgender experience, or why don't people want to talk about positive transgender experience?"
Now out of context of the entire conversation that may sound a little short-sighted or insulting in some way, but I assure you it wasn't as such, but she brought up a good point. Personally, during pride week in this city last summer, I contacted several news organizations with the story of a transgender woman with a positive experience in our city, working, my own apartment, and a drastic change as a result of transition. I got no bites.
Anyway, there is of course plenty of reasons we don't hear many positive stories. For one, news is rarely positive, period. There are lots I can get into, but I'm going to write about the one I can relate to. That is, why wouldn't those of us with positive experiences talk about it?
Why I am hesitant about it is I feel bad. I know of so many transgender people that have had to deal with so much more than I have, and have had less luck in general then I have had when it comes to transitioning. I mean there are a host of things that can go wrong in a transition. Anything from your parents rejecting you to your hormone replacement not working. I have had little trouble in any aspect of my transition, so I can't really relate to how it would feel like to face some like others have. I have felt the complete fear of them though.
I have posted a mix of emotions on this blog so far, and that is for a reason. I think people need to see the "realness" behind transgender life. Not necessarily how "shockingly real" it is, though it certainly can be, but how there are also plenty of transgender people you never hear about that are quietly, happily transitioning, and they have lives like everyone else.
I feel like we need to hear more stories like these. Yes, the stories of Lavern Cox and Janet Mock are just fantastic to hear, but I think it says more for us to see the "Jack and Janes" of the transgender world. For one, the cis-folk out there need to see that we are everywhere. No different than the homosexual movement eventually did, the more that come out the more people see how "normal" we really are and the more comfortable people become.
The more important side, in my opinion, is what it can say to those that still haven't been able to start transitioning because they are too afraid to. I think every one of us goes through this, I know I did. Besides all of the many other questions, doubts and fears you have you also worry about what if transitioning doesn't "work". All I ever heard about was bad stories, ever. As far as I knew not a single transition ended well. I could find only two types of literature. Either people talking about how their lives have fallen apart or people who said nothing about their personal lives other than a hint of "I don't go there anymore." tucked in between the lines.
I'd like to start a trend. There are a lot of trans people that do little but talk about the negative, and I guess that plays it's part. People do need to see how society treats us so we can open their eyes. What I'd like to do is start people talking about how their transition makes them happy. I have already said quite a bit of positive things about my transition and honestly, it has only gotten better. We need more of it.
I have gotten so many messages from people telling me how they wish they could be as brave as me, or wish their life circumstances could allow a transition and it breaks my heart. The fear (and possibly reality) of being another statistic is great enough to keep many people from being themselves. Maybe if they could read more blogs and stories like mine they would have the courage to face their fears. Maybe instead of being afraid of losing someone, perhaps they would hope that person would understand and help them. I'm hard pressed to think of someone with more doubt and uncertainty than a transgender person starting their path into transition, every little bit of hope helps.
