Saturday 23 April 2016

Flood Gates

I'd like to preface this post by saying it isn't a post of acquiescence. I'm still doing my thing, I still stand up for my rights with tiger like fierceness, I still have plans to be a thorn in the side of my government, etc. This post is mostly one of observation of the world around us and of course my usual self reflection. So with that being said...

Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to hold back the ocean with my hands. There are countless things that make me feel this way, and I feel like I've been inundated with them the last few weeks and months. First of all there is what is going on socially. It doesn't matter if I'm scrolling down my facebook feed, listening to the news media or hearing conversation in the room I'm in I cannot avoid wondering "What the hell is going on? What are these people doing/thinking?".

It's partially my own fault, I've apparently surrounded myself with politics. It seems impossible for me not to though, because I think politically. If I'm passing some time playing a video game, chances are the things going through my mind are inherently political. It's usually about the rights people have, or don't have, my own rights, how people are treated in our society, etc. So I get that I could possibly never have to worry about these things if I were to stick my head in the sand but at the same time I feel like what is the point of being alive if not to help yourself and others live better? So I always return to thoughts of people being harmed. It seems like the only thing anyone is being liberated from these days are their own lives or rights as human beings to live those lives.

So what am I talking about? The first that comes to mind is what the powerful are doing to the powerless. This manifests itself in countless ways. The bathroom shenanigans going on in North Carolina, something my federal government tried to do here country wide several years back which makes me wonder how long until it gets attempted again either federally, provincially or locally. Most people probably haven't heard about this, but there has been a law passed federally that does nothing but make the lives of sex workers more dangerous, more fragile. Corporations and billionaires that use their endless wealth to influence the individuals of, and therefore the entirety of, government on all levels to make life better for them while the powerless get tread on or forgotten about or just as often, purposefully marginalized and demonized. Something that I naively thought was mostly an American problem but have had it thrust into my knowledge that it happens, not just in Canada, but the very city I live in.

That's three examples, but I hope I'm getting my point across. The list of things are infinite and they are not in the past. The way we've treated indigenous people in my country, particularly the women. For that matter the way society treats women in general. Roman catholic priests and young boys, abortion,  rape victims, corrupted economics, Flint Michigan... I could keep going long enough to find out if blogger has a word limit or not.

To be honest, you have to let all of these things just wash over you, how can you not? If you were to let everything hit you how could you function? How could you not end up a heap of tears feeling for all of these people, if not a ball of rage? At the same time though, I can't help but feel like someone has to think and feel these things, it's too obvious that not enough people do. That does not mean we can't, every single one of us, acknowledge what is happening and at the very least have an open minded and caring frame of thinking for all of the purposeful violence and oppression that is happening. Which brings me to my other point, the non-players.

The non-players as I just called them are the people with no direct link to the issues that come across their consciousness. I see these people occasionally in the media, like when a random interviewer asks a random celebrity about an issue in current news or politics that they really have no information on but yet feel like everyone needs to hear their opinion. I also see these people in my friends or facebook or overheard conversations as I pass through life. I get that they don't know the details of the sex industry, or don't have a transgender person in their lives, or are rich so they don't see the real problems of the poor. What I don't get is the complete inability to let their own opinion rest and have the courage to say "I don't know" at the very least, and to follow up with "please, inform me" at best.

And maybe I'll upset some people by saying this, but it needs to be said again. It is a lack of courage that keeps people from acting that way. It takes a conscious suppression of social anxiety to let people know you have the "weakness" of ignorance. What makes this so detrimental is that their feigned knowledge creates the irradiation needed for the flood of bigotry and hatred and oppression that myself and others like me are trying to keep back with our hands to overtake us. They have no experience, how can they be expected to resist the constant pressure of misinformation and subtle corruption and overt bigotry and hatred?

It is like an old cartoon where the character sees a hole in a dam and plugs it with his finger just to have water spring from another hole that he plugs with a toe, then another hole with his other finger, and etc etc. When will the constant attacks stop? We had a minor victory here in my province where we can now change our gender markers without requiring surgery. (yay!) It is still however near impossible to get said surgery in a country that supposedly believes healthcare is a right of all. In the meantime, we've also had a devastating budget just get proposed that is going to drastically affect many peoples lives. I've read articles that suggest it will force many families into bankruptcy.

So there's that, but at the same time, I mention how I am involved with people in the sex trade, and from select people I hear nothing but platitudes about how they are a scourge to society, not just from cis, well off, white people, but from marginalized trans poor people. For anyone with empathy for all human beings it is a war against an enemy that shifts depending on what battle you're fighting. Frankly it is emotionally exhausting.

I hate feeling arrogant, I really do. I'm human though, so it seems I can't get away from it and I go periods of time feeling like I know more or am somehow better than someone else. I always catch myself and berate myself accordingly and usually put an end to it for good on a given topic. However this is one I can't seem to let go. Every time I find myself in the middle of observing the sorts of corruption, bigotry and hatred I've mentioned here (and the infinite list I haven't) I can't help but think I have the right answer and the people involved are just idiots. Is it so hard to acknowledge every person is different? That every person you meet has lived a different life and has a different perspective than you? And is it so hard to jump from those thoughts to "All of these lives are equally valid. I don't own the key to life."? Apparently it is, apparently it's something that only a handful of people truly get right. I'm not perfect with this, I too from time to time find myself caught in a bad opinion of someone based on nothing. But it takes nothing more than time and I'll realize I'm being an idiot and I make adjustments accordingly.

That's what makes this so frustrating to me. It seems like the end to this war from all sides is so simple it seems childish. Literally all we need to do is get along. That's it. To recognize that the way someone lives their life does nothing to what life means to you. But can people do this? It seems no. can it possibly happen that people can be convinced this is true? Again no. And what really worries me the most, can people learn this before we end humanity? Again, I feel like the answer is no.